When the first Toyota Prius was introduced to the world back in 2000, the “green” car phenomenon caught on like wild fire. As residents of California, a democratic state, the Toyota Prius was even more popular. Every free loving hippie in San Francisco owned one if they had enough money. Today, there are over 5 million Prii (pre-eye) on the road slowing down traffic and pissing people off, but hey….they are saving the Earth. The best part about the Toyota Prius is the fact that you can drive in the carpool lane and you get to save money on gas. Sometimes you will get a really creative personality so you might see a tricked out Prius. The funniest part about it is Prius drivers are so bad at driving they are too scared to drive in the carpool lane since it is so close to the center divider on the freeway.
The actual appearance of the car makes you say, “why can’t they just make hybrid cars that look good!” We agree. From the outside, the Prius looks like an eggish hatchback capsule of gayness. However, if you have ever been inside of a Prius then you are fully aware that they are like a little high-tech rocket ship with all sorts of digital displays and LED projections to tell you speed, battery life, rpm, etc. They are also VERY roomy for such a small car, and it has incredible trunk space; you can take 5 people to play golf and have sex with them in the back seat afterwords…..
Your typical Prius drivers are 8 times out of 10 males ages 30-50 with an income of roughly $45,000 all the way to $1,000,000 annually. Pretty big range right? That is because the Prius is purchased for a variety of different reasons by different types of guys:
- Younger men with an average income (they are not cheap cars) who commute a lot and want to save on gas
- Middle age men who truly care about their carbon footprint
- Older men who are cheap bastards and think that gas should still be .30¢/gallon
- Millionaires and six-figure guys who do not want to be flashy and instead admired for being humble
- Dads who want to have a reliable Toyota while they save money for their kids’ college, family vacations, and anniversary presents for their wives
- Surfers who do not make much money and enjoy having the space for their surfboards
If you are a female and you are driving a Toyota Prius, go ahead and sell that thing right now and buy yourself a Toyota Yaris or a cute little MINI Cooper. If you are a guy driving a MINI Cooper, you should move to West Hollywood or the Castro district in San Francisco. You better at least drive a tricked out Prius.
Our answer here would probably be a little different about 6 months ago. Around that time it seemed as if Prius drivers were only capable of driving slow, swerving, not using turn signals, taking a few seconds to start moving when a red light changes to green, being scared to change lanes even though there is plenty of room, using their brakes while they go up hills, and so on. Over the past 6 months or so our expert car stereotypers have seen a rather big difference in the driving behavior of Prius drivers. We have noticed that they are not only driving more normal, but they are actually becoming quite aggressive. We estimated that roughly 50% of Prius drivers are performing the following road actions:
- Driving fast / speeding over 15 mph over the speed limit
- Tailgating other drivers, however, this is due to ignorance and not pure aggressiveness
- Weaving throughout traffic, probably as a dire attempt to get home to their kids, to their business meeting, or to the environmental protest about real fur or oil drilling
- Not stopping at stop signs completely, likely because they want to preserve their brake pads
- Failing to use their turn signal when switching lanes because they know other drivers dislike Prius drivers and will not let them in
Stereotyping is not an exact science, but Prius drivers have made it fairly easy for us to peg them. The best thing in the world to see is a Prius that has the extra stereotypical bumper stickers with all of the the different religious symbols…come on! If you drive a Prius and you want other drivers to think that you are a free loving liberal hippie, then slap one of those bumper stickers on and you will find success. For all you Prius driving men out there who are reading this and want to change your image, your best bet is purchasing or leasing another car. If you are truly in love with your car, which you probably are, then just drive normal and about 5 mph over the speed limit like the rest of us.