There are not many cars that have the type of history that comes with Chevrolet Corvette. First manufactured in 1953, the Chevrolet Corvette was a hit from the start. With a light weight frame, aggressive sleek lines, and a monster V8 engine the Corvette created an instant cult following. Over the past 10 years the Corvette has underwent many changes in both design and performance, some for the better and some for the worst. The classic Corvette that the old timers cherish has finally been smashed by an absolutely amazing 2014 aggressive beauty.
For our car stereotypers, the Corvette is most famous for its quad exhaust and the losers that drive them. Have you ever seen a guy under 30 years of age driving a Corvette? That is because these cars are purchased predominately by old man Corvette enthusiasts. You will sometimes see a female driving this car in white, but that is only the richest neighborhoods in the country. One thing that makes the Corvette a little tricky to stereotype is the fact that there are so many different years, models, and styles that all attract slightly different drivers. Once again, we think we nailed it.
The typical Corvette driver is a male somewhere in the neighborhood of 50-70 years old, and 8 out of 10 times you will see them wearing a hat that does not fit them well. This car is driven by older men because as children they always admired the Corvette, back when it was still cool to drive. Now that they have some money and are likely going through a mid-life crisis they decided it was a good time to live their dream. The harsh truth is that Corvettes area poor man’s Ferrari. With a rather low MSRP of around $49,500, the Corvette has been corrupted by old men that just want to have a fast cool looking sports car and have lost touch with what the best cars are these days. These are all of the people you will see driving the Chevrolet Corvette:
- Old men who want to fulfill their boyhood dreams
- Middle age men having a mid-life crisis and either can not afford a Jaguar, Ferrari, or Poersche, or they have lost touch with what is cool
- Young guys ages 30-40 who buy the Z06 model and are actually pretty normal
- Older women ages 50-70 who buy the car in white or red because Barbie drove it
The Corvette is an extremely fast and superior sports car so it hard for us to write this harsh truth, but people need to know that Corvettes make it’s drivers look old and not in touch with what is actually hip and cool in today’s modern society. If you can afford it, do not buy a car that had its hay day in the 1960’s, technology has come too far.
The way you will see the Corvette driving on the road is quite versatile. On one side, you have the guys that actually use the car for what it is made for…driving fast and at high speeds. On the other side, you have those guys who baby their car and have never taken it above 65mph…shame on them. Those slow bitch bastards are probably old, drive a precious classic Corvette (maybe a Stingray), or both. In a perfect world you would see the Corvette drifting all over the place. In any event, these are the different things you will see the Corvette usually doing on the roads:
- Driving slow in the right lane getting passed by seniors in their Lincolns
- Driving faster than 100mph, even in medium traffic
- Taking off full speed from red lights and trying to race people
- Moving at a normal speed on a nice road trip to Palm Springs, Las Vegas, or Boca Raton
- Sitting in the garage or at a car show and never getting any use (older models)
Every now and then we run into a car that is a bit tough to stereotype. For our experts, the driving behavior was the hard part, we all seemed to come together on the fact that guys that drive Corvettes are pure losers. Girls, do not be fooled by this mirage; Corvettes are not that expensive and there is not even room for your Birkin bag.