The BMW M3 is one of those cars that everybody, guys and girls, stare at when they are around. With that awesome looking exhaust, beautiful aggressive body lines, and an engine that gets you horny, the M3 is a confirmed luxury pussy machine. The M3 was first produced in 1985 with a 2.3L i4 engine, and these days you can find an extremely powerful yet lightweight i6 engine that will tear many v8’s to shreds. Often times you will even see a custom BMW M3 that will tear just about any car to shreds.  One of the cool parts about the M3 is the fact that they still have a backseat, and although the backseat is small it still comes into play when you have some hotties or golf bags you want to throw in the back.

Even though people who drive the M3 are douchebags, usually rich ones, nobody can deny the M3 of it’s superiority over just about any other coupe on the road. When you see the M3 on the road you know it is not just your average 3 series right away; whether it is the quad exhaust or high-pitched roar of the engine that does it for you…you can always tell the M class apart in split second. Are you wondering how the M3 compares to it’s Mercedes counterpart…it crushes it…because despite what Mercedes loving pricks will tell you, there is really no match that Mercedes, or any car for that matter, has for the BMW M3 (the closest model is probably the C Class, which is sad, AMG or not).

Custom M3

Having a custom BMW M3 is like having a 10 inch long….ego. The feeling you get from tearing through the roads in a beast as aggressively sexy as this must be like a lighting rod dipped in melted glacier water.

Driver Description

After hours and maybe even days of debating the type of driver that sports the BMW M3, our expert stereotypers have concluded that the answer is heavily swayed by the geographical location in which you live. If you live in Los Angeles, CA like us then you have probably noticed that there is predominately 2 types of people that drive this car…16 year old boys and Persian men who drive a way too gaudy custom M3. In LA there are LOTS of very rich households that breed spoiled children, and this accounts for those young teenage drivers. If they do not get that car they just might be looked down upon by their friends at school. For reasons beyond our understanding, many Persian men are drawn to this vehicle. It is probably because they are a very wealthy people, usually from Real Estate, and they have good taste in cars. For some weird reason they always choose the bright aqua blue color too. These are all of the different types of races, personalities, and genders that you will see behind the wheel:

  • 16 year old boys with rich parents who bought it for them as a “getting your drivers license present”
  • 16-24 year old Persian boys and men who have rich parents that spoil their princes
  • 30-45 year old males who are successful and “dong it”
  • Asian women with rich husbands
  • 25-40 year old men who work at the BMW dealership and drive the M3 and M5 on their lunch breaks to impress the local twang

Our stereotypers have discussed the highly likely and probable possibility that these stereotypes are contrived solely from the demographic make-up of Los Angeles. In other states, especially in the South, we imagine the BMW M3 is driven predominately by white males ages 32-45.

BMW M3 Drifting

When you see a BMW M3 drifting it like your evil conscious is dragging you into Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory while your guardian angel is playing with your nipples. With more horse power than the Roman Army had, and with less weight than an obese person, this car can seriously rip.

Driver Behavior

Have you ever noticed that certain cars always seem to be revving their engines? Well the M3 is definitely one of those vehicles, and who can blame them. The BMW M3 is a performance monster. With an exhaust that sounds like a fine tuned rocket ship and suspension that can take a 90 degree turn at 65 without making a screech, it is not a surprise that the BMW is a fast, crazy, yet controlled car on the roads. That’s right, even though the BMW M3 drivers are like madmen, they are usually really good drivers who care about their car, not like those idiot old guys who total their Lamborghinis. If you ever get the pleasure of seeing a BMW M3 drifting than you will see real driving talent in action. You will most likely see the M3:

  • Revving their exhaust at red lights to entertain themselves or girls in other cars
  • Taking hair pin turns at 60+ mph
  • Speeding by you on the freeway like a motorcycle passes a kid on their razor scooter
  • Burning rubber and racing cars next to them.
  • Parked a mile away in the parking lot so their paint does not get scratched
  • Driving very slowly because the car just got a $125 wash & wax

When it comes down to it, the BMW M3 is one of the sickest cars on the road. Anybody who drives an M3 is a pimp daddy in our eyes, maybe a spoiled brat pimp daddy but a pimp daddy at the very least. We encourage anybody who has the money, or parents who have the money, to go to their local BMW or used car dealership to purchase one of these fine automobiles.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *